VARIETY SHAC PHOTO FEST TO AMP YOU UP FOR THE SHOW

CHRIS JUREK IS ALWAYS THERE FIRST.

He arrives at 5, and always gives us a big welcoming smile when we get there a couple hours later.

THIS COULD BE YOU!

ADHERING TO OUR STRICT "NO LAUGHTER" POLICY.

HERE'S ANDREA AND SUPER EDITOR ALAN OXMAN ON AN EDIT BREAK.

Yes, that IS a zone bar and salad!

CLOSE-UP OF ALAN'S MEAL.

"HEY ALAN! What airline are you flying? American? Or Delta?"

HOPE YOU DON'T GET THE UNLUCKY SEAT!

FINGERS CROSSED, GANG! Always one person gets this seat.

SOMETIMES THE PERSON WHO SITS HERE DISAPPEARS FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

OTHER TIMES THEY JUST GET ACNE OR THEIR WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD. THAT'S THE BASIC GIST. Some sort of bad luck.

DON'T BE SAD! IT WORKS OUT.

TONITE! TUESDAY THE 2ND @ 8:30 SHARP

ANDREA ROSEN
SHONALI BHOWMIK
HEATHER LAWLESS
&
CHELSEA PERETTI

WELCOME
TOM SHILLUE & MATT DIFFEE

TO:
GALAPAGOS
70 N. 6TH ST. (WILLIAMSBURG, L TRAIN TO BEDFORD)

FOR THE MONTHLY:
VARIETY SHAC

COME SAY BYE TO CHELSEA BEFORE SHE JETSETS TO SUNNY CALIFORNIA FOR FUN AND FAMILY IN THE SUN......YAY! HER EMPIRE OF GOOD TIMES IS ONLY JUST BEGINNING! THE QUALITY OF LIFE STAT CHART IS ABOUT TO HAVE A MAJOR SPIKE! IF I COULD HAVE USED BLINK CODE ON THIS ENTIRE POST, YOU KNOW I WOULD HAVE.

SHONALI IS YOUR HOST


OUR NEW SHORT FILM IS FUNNY.

I NEED TO STOP YELLING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS...I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF A LONG TIME AGO THAT IF I EVER WANT TO USE CAPS, I HAVE TO REALLY YELL WHILE I WRITE IT. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PREVENTATIVE BUT IT WASN'T!

I AM BEAT.

(Clears throat)

I'm going to bed now. See you in the morning. It's 2:24am my time.

BYE!

(Collapses)

[Note: this post was dictated but not read.]

[Post Note: this post was dictated to Dr. Bronner.]

[And finally: I know Dr. Bronner is dead, but let's just play along here.]

(Collapses)

(Arm remains propped above head at awkward angle, feather quill pen shivering in gust of moldy AC air)

(Feather quill?!!)

(Yes.)

(You blog with a feather quill pen?)

(Yes I do.)

(Like, how?)

(I tap it on the keypad.)

(Oh.)

(Collapses.) (Upward.) (Into loftbed.)

(Age check.)

(Oh!)

(Yeah!)

(I am too old for a loftbed!)

(Hunh!)

(I had a 3-year hunch but wasn't sure.)

HELP!

HELP!

THIS WON'T END!

(Collapses)

(Sip of water.)

(Surveys room.)

(Sighs deeply.)

(Blows out candle.)

(Sleeps: stock still in office chair.)

(Silence.)

(Stock still.)

(Whispers in dark, taking you completely off guard: So...what do you think...do you think you're coming to the show?)