• Demand that someone’s bag is too big and must be checked--MID-FLIGHT! NO MATTER WHAT. DON’T TAKE “NOT POSSIBLE” FOR AN ANSWER!
• Tapping heads headcount: it lasts the whole flight.
(If you need an excuse maybe it’s because ‘the captain has demanded a recount.’)
• “Shhhh” people gently. “Shhhhhh…..no talking…” This keeps things quiet.
• Wet face with tears and then go around the cabin and try to bum a cigarette.
• Ask a passenger to serve drinks and collect trash because “my finger hurts.”
• Stroke someone’s hair as they sleep. BUT STROKE IT WITH A DEAD DOG’S PAW THAT IS ATTACHED TO A DEAD DOG.
ANNOUNCEMENT PRANKS:
• “We’re sick of watching yall watch tv so we’re gonna come 'curtain the screens'. ”
• “We’ve just heard from the Captain that this plane will not touch down at any time.”
• “Unfortunately, due to a glitch in wiring, the only television show we will be able to broadcast is Mindfreak with Criss Angel.“
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