Sometimes a joke comes easy

Walking along tonite this dude tried to holler at me. He goes: "Wow. Can I be your friend?" My instant inside-my-head unspoken retort was hilarious and it was one of those things where I knew instantly I had just written a golden joke. To hear it, attend the next Variety Shac. Ahahahah! Yeah! It was a commercial. You can't get away from commercials you lousy bitches, I don't care where you go.

P.S. I am really bummed about the perfume scenario. I still can't find one I like and that makes me sad.

P.P.S. One of you fools complained my posts are shorter lately, first off!!!!! Did you read the post about upcoming shows? That wasn't short. It was rather long-and contained a gem of a photo. That html don't come for free, friends, so please don't look a kindly lil gifthorsie in it's mouth. Or the horsie might stampede you into the mud with verbosity! (See: this post).

You know, I work and I work for you people, toiling away in the wee hours, cropping images, dragging them onto my server, coding them so they will appear for your viewing pleasure........but I guess even that isn't enough. Is it? IS IT? You see? Now I'm trying to make this post long just to prove a point. How silly.

Truthfully, I'm avoiding doing my taxes, and also avoiding installing my lacie external drive which has been sitting on my broken glider bench for the past several weeks. "Broken glider bench?" you say, "That doesn't sound right! Not for our glamourous pal Chelsea..." Well guess what, kids. You've got me all wrong. Beneath the glitz and glamour lurks a girl with a broken office chair and broken glider bench.

Which brings to mind a funny story. How do you think each pricey item of furniture came to be broken? Well each one was fucking DESTROYED by a different girlfriend of mine, who sat roughly upon said furniture item and broke it to the point of semi-uselessness. When did this all go down? Who knows. A year? 2? Point is....I have not resolved the issue.

Additionally, when I moved into this 8x10 room I call home, the full-length mirror was partially shattered. Ask me how it looks today: partially shattered.

What have I done here friends?

A lengthy post.

Now remember, length is not always synonymous with quality, but HEY, GIVE EM WHAT THEY WANT...