It's entirely possible that I have a pair of MAGICAL SHOES in my possesion. If you are grappling with this concept, please trust me that I can hardly believe it myself.
Here's the deal GANG! Every time I wear my suede boots it rains or snows.
That's it!
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
TO ALL MY READERS WHO ARE FARMERS:
You know what this means. Talk to me. Fly me out and make it happen--rain, fertile grounds, any type of suede-damaging wetness you could ask for!* Just let me step out on your farmland in my suede boots. Fly me out and feed me farm fresh foods. That's it. I'll show up in my boots and change your crop season all around!
* WELL ALMOST ANY (dirty disgusting trucker laugh)
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