New Years Eve: 16 Days Later, a Look Back

I think I'm finally ready to open up about my New Years Eve. I was with a female friend. We rang the doorbell of my male friend's home where we planned to hang out (I won't tell you his name but I'll give you a hint: "Mexican for Salvatore").

To our shock and great blah, what was on the other side of the door was him and 20,000 females. Basically, he was drinking mojitos and eating guacamole with a zillion female friends. And guess what, little kittens? They were all doctors. I certainly have shitty health insurance, but as much as I'm always on the hunt to curry favor with a doctor or two--I had to leave immediately.

The next party we attended was crowded, with loud music. That seems to make sense for a party. Guess what else was there? Our friend and his overactive digital camera. Digital cameras have gotten out of hand. I think this motherfucker attempted to take a zillion pictures of us in the course of a single hour. (Correct. He attempted to take the same # of pictures as my other friend had female friends: one zillion).

No!


NO!


NO MEANS NO!


THERE WENT MY SOUL!


NO ONE CAN HAVE ME.


I SAID NO. But if you click in you can see that maybe my eyes were telling a different story.


No way.

No.

No...

Fine. One.


Dear reader: there are too many digital cameras in the world.

They are everywhere.

BAN DIGITAL CAMERAS!



BAN DIGITAL CAMERAS!