Dear Sir/Madam/Whomever It May Concern:
I am frustrated by my inability to preserve the life of my bedside plant. It is all but dead. Why do you suppose the C train runs so infrequently? Whilst on the topic of the MTA: I would think the MTA should set up a train re-routing email blast (where you might request however many different train lines you would like to updated on). Why are the old Reebox hightops in the bright colors so narrow in the toe? I think Fresh Direct should have an all-or-nothing tipping policy. It's annoying to have the $5 tip included because psychologically you will also tip in person when the food is delivered. They should just include a great tip and then refuse extra. Additionally, my eyes water when it's cold out. In closing, too many men give weak massages.
Thank you for taking the time to consider the aforementioned complaints.
Sincerely,
Chelsea Peretti
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