What shirt got Cindy Sheehan ousted from the State of the Union? Some guesses.

You're too peaceful, mother of a dead soldier!! NOW GET OUT.


That's just poor taste.


Doesn't really feel right for a State of the Union. This is why the left needs to think things out more.


Isn't that a little childish, Cindy?


Cindy. Come on. Play fair.


Why you gotta bring Blair into it?


But Jesus wouldn't bomb anyone because that wouldn't have really fit in with his ideology...oh. Good one, Cindy!



Mr. Precedent! Mr. Precedent! And: younger precedent.

How do you erase your google search history?

I hate it when it pops up when someone's using my computer.



This screenshot was the least revealing screenshot I could find. I had to go through A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, and J to get there. Shout outs to Kura sushi, Catherine Keener and the Bay Area's KMEL. A bit ago, someone recommended I read Killing Yourself to Live. I have no recollection who it was or what the book is about.

Dog lover? Lover of film medium? Music?

~*~*~prepare to die~*~*~

If you've already seen it--DO NOT WRITE AND MAKE ME FEEL LATE--pretend it's new to you.

Thanks to KH!!

UPDATE: Also from KH

Great news, gang!

EK writes:

you know, chelsea, the mta does do email blasts when they reroute the
trains. you can sign up here...

http://advisory.mtanyct.info/

just, you know, fyi. -e


THANKS, EK! I was hoping for this exact type of email.

A Formal Letter of Complaint

Dear Sir/Madam/Whomever It May Concern:

I am frustrated by my inability to preserve the life of my bedside plant. It is all but dead. Why do you suppose the C train runs so infrequently? Whilst on the topic of the MTA: I would think the MTA should set up a train re-routing email blast (where you might request however many different train lines you would like to updated on). Why are the old Reebox hightops in the bright colors so narrow in the toe? I think Fresh Direct should have an all-or-nothing tipping policy. It's annoying to have the $5 tip included because psychologically you will also tip in person when the food is delivered. They should just include a great tip and then refuse extra. Additionally, my eyes water when it's cold out. In closing, too many men give weak massages.

Thank you for taking the time to consider the aforementioned complaints.

Sincerely,
Chelsea Peretti

Dream Analysis

I had a dream that a medium-sized monkey ran up and attacked me. I had to punch it in its face repeatedly. I can still feel its teeth and upper lip on my knuckles.

!**JONAH*ON*HORSES**!

Ahahahahahahaaa. Ha. Hahahah. Ha. HHHmmmm. Hhahahaahaa. Andrea photo chronicles Jonah's infamous wild ride on a spirited Costa Rican horse. Not to be missed!

Feb. 7 Variety Shac heads up

The entire Variety Shac hometeam--REUNITED!

Heather's got her wallet on hand because she just paid the photographer--our friend Stefano Giovannini--10,000 dollars for this one (1) photo. She is ridiculous with her money and wouldn't listen to anyone's advice about how crazy this was to do.

With special guests:

Stand Up Comic
Val Kappa

Artstar
Cory Arcangel

Song and Piano explosion "At Least It's Pink"
w Bridgett Everett & Kenny Melman.


.....................& a very special short film........................


If you haven't already, and would like to, here is where you can subscribe to my event email list

As I gentrify Fort Greene,

I've taken to calling it "Fort Verde." I'm hoping it catches on and that prices continue to skyrocket.

Lots of times, I'll pretend I'm lost and then ask people: "Excuse me, are we in Fort Verde?" I like to see how they answer, for one, but I also think this is a great way to start the trend up.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Marilyn Monroe
Horses (the way they look & cantering)
Richard Brautigan
Mugs and Teapots
Vegetables and Fruits
Flannel Duvet
Silver
Comedy Peers Who Are So Funny and Devoted to Comedy
Century 21
Wendy Williams
Internet
Speaking Spanish
Certain Colors (blue, yellow, red, pink)
Certain Smells (lavender, pine)
Making New Friends

When does Spring start?

Also, while I'm being girly for a second, let me say I went to Jo Malone today. I wasn't fully grabbed by any scent in particular (partially because I'm happy with my current main one), but this smelled so good I wished it were a body scent. Anyone know a good lavendery perfume that also has something else cool going on in it?

Boy readers: If you think cologne is cheesy think again. Don't be a stubborn ass. It's too simple: Smelling good smells good.

UPDATE: Three fine readers sent in suggestions: Penhaligon's 'Lavandula' and No. 1 Eau de Colgne by Acqua di Biella as well as Acqua di Parma's Lavenda Tonica. Thanks, team!

I will find an apartment with this address.

And then, once I'm in, if anyone tries to joke with me about it I'll cry. "It's not funny anymore!"

I mean--S. WILLIAM STREET??! You've gotta be kidding me!

Just so you know

All the writing on my blog is done with a feather quill in jetblack ink by candlelight FIRST and then transcribed to type. Do you ever feel that, sort of in your bones? You must.

**CATS *ON* HORSES**

Ms. Michelle Collins is one of those IMers that fills your screen with a constant flow of links.

Yesterday she sends me this:



I click in. I'm surprised to find a Portuguese blog with photography of beautiful textures. I couldn't believe it: "Whoah...textures? How arty, Michelle. I thought it was going to be a picture of a cat sitting on a horse's back."

To which she promptly responded:


















The internet's own Michelle Collins, ladies and gentlemen.

LIFE COUNT: Another few hours, gone.

To trick my roommates

I could make some flyers in photoshop for a fake show: CHELSEA PERETTI'S SOLO SHOW "MY ROOMMATES!"

If you haven't already

Check out the Variety Shac merch on offer.

I have a real "fuck-you" attitude about smileys

Like if I use one in im or email, don't tell me they're played out blah blah blah. Saying smileys are played out is played out, dumb fuck. Same like yeah, sure, avoid LOL if you can (everyone's into hahaha now--more naturalistic) but if you want to use it for some reason, the person telling you "WHOAH dude! LOL's are so OUT!" to me is the bigger douche of the two.

It's like how I bought a bright red...cap...let's say, up in Woodstock and I loved it because it reminded me of something my grandfather (may his sweet soul rest in peace) bought me in the sierras when I was a kid. Or at least I think he did, maybe I invented that memory. Then I gotta hear: "Yo! Trucker hats are so played" from some guy in tight white jeans and cowboy boots. Shut up poser.

So I repeat: my smiley attitude is FUCK YOU!

:)

Email from my dad

"Enclosed is a photo of the asshole who eats my prized hibiscus and orange tree. He ate so much he had to rest under the redwoods."

Tuesday Night: WYSIWYG Film Festivalito

A Shac short will be screened, with an intro bit from (all or some) of us.

Also featuring: Brian Levin and Bob Castrone of The Post Show, The Hazzards, Jon Friedman, Jessica Delfino, Odd Todd, and more!

To the beautiful specimen in the passion.com ads:

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I was totally craving xmas tree portraiture, when I opened my email to find...

TA-DAA!

Update

Just cried watching a girl learn to wakeboard on "Made."

Contagious Festival on HuffPost

$2,500 in prizes to the winner

My favorite thing on this page is John Cusack's headshot.


Really? That's your headshot?

A friend flaked on me last night,

but he "patched things up" with this restorative 2AM text:

Very very sorry about tonite. long story. involving blow job on the street. again, i'm very sorry...

ALL BETTER! APOLOGY ACCEPTED!! IT HELPS TO KNOW YOU WERE GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED.

Lazy Sunday goes on and on and onnnnnnnnnn

LIKE POPCORN!

Here, some kids incoherently rap it! Kids are amazing.

Someday I'd like to live in LA and have 3 kids, and by kids I do mean personal assistants. What would be sad is always calling them kiddo and making them eat Thanksgiving dinner with me.

Saw it on Justin Purnell's thingy

***ADVICE*** From Miss Peretti

Subj. header could prob use re-tooling.

TONITE, Sat

Tonite 8pm is storytelling at Monkeytown. Andrea Rosen hosts me, Michael Showalter, Tom Shillue, and I'm forgetting someone else. There's food there. 58 N 3rd St (b. Kent and Wythe), (718) 384-1369.

Saturday 9:30pm I'll be doing Deep Dish at Junno's Lounge. I know Heather Lawless will also be on the bill. 64 Downing (btwn Bedford and 7th.), (212) 627-7995

How do you spell tonite.

How do you punctuate a question.

Phone tree cheat sheet

Here's some quick ways to find a human being on corporate phone trees. You gotta love creator Paul English. I will bookmark the shit out of it. As you well know, I hate a phone tree.

(Saw it on Andrea's blog.)

Anyone know who's in charge of New York City Weather?

I'd like to speak with his/her manager.

!BANG! BANG! !!CRASH!! CRASH! QUARTER OUT OF EAR! IT'S UUUUUUNCLE CHELSEA!

PS

Kudos to MLK Jr. But I'm a Malcolm X gal myself!

PS You have to pick one or the other--their principles were diametrically opposed. One guy was kind and the other guy was hateful (to whites).

PPS Just kidding. Read read read people! You are IDIOTS.

New Years Eve: 16 Days Later, a Look Back

I think I'm finally ready to open up about my New Years Eve. I was with a female friend. We rang the doorbell of my male friend's home where we planned to hang out (I won't tell you his name but I'll give you a hint: "Mexican for Salvatore").

To our shock and great blah, what was on the other side of the door was him and 20,000 females. Basically, he was drinking mojitos and eating guacamole with a zillion female friends. And guess what, little kittens? They were all doctors. I certainly have shitty health insurance, but as much as I'm always on the hunt to curry favor with a doctor or two--I had to leave immediately.

The next party we attended was crowded, with loud music. That seems to make sense for a party. Guess what else was there? Our friend and his overactive digital camera. Digital cameras have gotten out of hand. I think this motherfucker attempted to take a zillion pictures of us in the course of a single hour. (Correct. He attempted to take the same # of pictures as my other friend had female friends: one zillion).

No!


NO!


NO MEANS NO!


THERE WENT MY SOUL!


NO ONE CAN HAVE ME.


I SAID NO. But if you click in you can see that maybe my eyes were telling a different story.


No way.

No.

No...

Fine. One.


Dear reader: there are too many digital cameras in the world.

They are everywhere.

BAN DIGITAL CAMERAS!



BAN DIGITAL CAMERAS!

Tonite 10 pm

"Here's the Thing." Show at Mo Pitkins. Heather will also be there, as well as Craig Baldo and Tom Mccaffrey and more. $7.

"Sean O'Connor, Nick Maritato, and Andrew Wright present some of their favorite comedians doing whatever tickles their particular fancies."

Monday, January 16th
10 pm SHARP (Doors at 9:30)

Mo Pitkin's House of Satisfaction
34 Ave A btwn E 2nd & 3rd St

$5 advance
$7 at the door

Good Morning

There's no way I should be up right now.

Went to bed at 7am woke at 10am. That's no life for a lady.

Please enjoy this "pic" of me and my favorite aunt in the world (along with a dog I've been conducting extensive research upon).

Gayest night of my life

In both senses of the word (reported by Tricia Romano of the Village Voice).

PS My gay boyfriend was also there. He has a gay boyfriend, too.

:(

The Year in the Internet 2005

Links compiled by Cory Arcangel and Michael Bell-Smith

When a guy emails me, I consider him to then be my boyfriend.

What I'll respond to the email is:

I am your girlfriend. Because you emailed me, I am now your girlfriend.

This could be any guy. It could be an Amazon customer service response guy. It could be a Brazilian saying his last name is also Peretti and he found me via a google search. Guess what? You're my boyfriend.

And it could certainly be a response to a casual acquaintance I don't know well enough to joke with in this manner.

Three Cheers for Guest Blogger, John Mulaney!

Hip hip HOORAYYYYY!!!!! He did a swell job and we're all very proud of him at HQ.

Anyhow, I'm sure you expected much more of me on my first post back, but this is 2006. And the way I always feel at the beginning of a new year is that birthday-girl feeling of "I can do whatever I want."

I could punch you in the face if I want, dookyface--it's 2006! Just kidding, bready-sugar smell! You're great.

PS
A wise person once had a self-composed email footer that read: "When you live in the moment, every second is a new year." That wise person...(dramatic pause, paces room, penetrating stare at select listeners, swirls around sharply)...was me.

PPS
I'm writing about the new year on January 13th--what a total slacker move! Hahhahaa-ha (high fives a loser)! Yeah, man!

Rain

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Oh gee how clever its raining again. How original. I'm being sarcastic.

What do I have to carry a towel around?

Guys I am soaked. SOAKED. and young and poor.

Blogging has been fun. I do not know how much longer I am guest blogging but while I have your eyes and ears I want to talk about something I need a lot of help on:

The GHOSTWRITER Cast Reunion Show

GHOSTWRITER was about a group of kids in Park Slope who solved mysteries with the help of a computer-icon-looking ghost named GHOSTWRITER. GHOSTWRITER could not speak but could read words near and around the people and places that pertained to the crime/mystery at hand. In a sense GHOSTWRITER could read and write but not "see." If GHOSTWRITER were helping the gang look for me he would spell out words like MALIBU DINER and UNISEX MULTI-RACIAL SALON.

Anyway the GHOSTWRITER gang consisted of Leni Frazier, Jamal Jenkins, Tina Nguyen, Alex and Gabi Fernandez (bro and sis) and for a while a kid named Rob Baker and then towards the end this kid named Hector who played hand-ball and was bullied by the now infamous George who called him "Peanutface."

Yeah so...so they solved mysteries that they normally fell ass-backwards into. Such as the time they entered the comic book contest and were met with acts of sabotage by a competitor in the contest named Stoop Dude. Stoop Dude's real name was Manny Gite and he lived with his mom but in order to fuck with the G-WRITER Gang he would adopt the persona of Stoop Dude (from his comic book) and try to thwart their chances of winning. He was a tool. Most of the time however they were battling wits with this foolio named Calvin Ferguson who went to their school and kind of wanted to be in the gang but kind of despised it...which sometimes to be honest was how I felt about them.

Rob Baker was also friends with this homeless poet guy named Double-T. I don't know if Double-T was ever involved in a mystery but he sure opened my eyes to the plight of the least-privileged among us.

Regardless...an imdb.com search will provide you with the actors' names. I have not listed them here for the sake of brevity. Google searches reveal Blaze Berdahl's (Leni Frazier's) voice-over agents and a fan page dedicated to David Lopez (Alex Fernandez). But then I'm stuck....I wrote to the girl who runs the David Lopez site and have never received a reply. Blaze's agency will not direct me to her specific agent. It has been a series of dead-ends that only GHOSTWRITER could get me out of!!! HA! Imagine that!

I would love to re-unite the gang for a one-night-only chat show and am reaching out to you the web-community to help. If you have any leads please email the blog. Subject: GHOSTWRITER HELP

That is all,
John Mulaney

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

S. Epatha Merkerson

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Here is an artist's rendering of S. Epatha Merkerson.

http://www.brandonbird.com/page7.html

Thanks,
John

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

But how tight were his lips?

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

From NYtimes.com, "A Reporters Notebook," Jan 9, 2006:

"Judge Alito seemed almost to blush at the attention, smiling with tight lips, nodding his head, and murmuring thanks as he headed for the door of a Senate office building."

All too often I will find myself reaching the end of an essay or profile in the newspaper without any clue how tight anyone's lips are. Normally I will do a quick skim through again to be sure; thinking, surely the writer has taken the time to address the tightness of the principal subjects' lips. But all too often I face that ineveitable conclusion: slackness and/or tightness of lips has simply been ignored like how Don Cheadle's family was ignored by the Western World in "Hotel Rawanda."

At some point in the last twenty five years journalists decided that the way to be a good writer was to really just describe the shit out of stuff. No adjectives should be spared. "Let the non-writers not describe shit. We're gonna!" they proclaimed. Profiles on and interviews with people of note now always include some obligatory reference to what they are eating/drinking and how they are eating/drinking it. I do not need to know that, "Sam Mendes sips thoughtfully on his Nestea before answering." It's not an important detail. It doesn't add to the piece and it's kind of a stretch to say that anyone sips thoughtfully. He was thinking thoughtfully while sipping, I'd imagine. The sipping part of it was probably pretty midless. You are a bad writer. Go home and sleep in your closet.

New Yorker profiles are still pretty good but Vanity Fair interviews are BONKERS. They are almost exclusively about what the people are eating during the interview. The interviewees are said to be "wolfing down" Lite Popcorn and "devouring" Edamame and...seriously bad writer shouldn't you go home and lay down in the closet and stop bothering people? ("typed Mulaney before allowing generous helpings of Teddy Grams to find their way into his mouth.")

On the subject of profiles however I have to give some credit to the Rolling Stone writer who, a few days after Columbine, described killer Dylan Klebold as having a "huge Jay Leno-chin." In that case, the extra wording to describe how "huge" and "Jay Leno" that kid's chin was much needed and appreciated.


eND OF POst.
Love,
Guest Blogger John Mulaney

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Cold Pasta

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

In the 7th grade my friend Chris told me that I smelled like Cold Pasta. He said it wasn't a bad thing. I am still angry about that comment though.

John

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Busted

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

The post-a-day goal was set by CP and not by myself. I know my limits!

I would love to post all the time however certain security measures hold me back. In order to post blogspot.com first instructs you to "Type the characters you see in the picture below." Below these words are a bunch of barely distorted curvy letters which you have to decipher in order for your post to go through. Sometimes the letters are too curvy! I can't tell what's what with all this discombobulation!

Talk Soon Y'all!

John Mulaney

P.S. I wish the comments part was still up.

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Hello friends, it's Chelsea.

I am taking a very short respite from my internet respite (activity: say "respite" aloud in strong Texan accent all day) in order to publicly chastize one Mr. John Mulaney.

Mr. Mulaney, post-a-day? Friday went by untouched.

Post before sundown. Or I will kill you.

My mother has advised me not to post the "kill you" part, in case Mulaney is actually killed in the near future. But I am BOLD and BRAVE. The threat stands.

Di and Dodi

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Since CP likes to give you all tips I thought I might share one of my own...

Question: How should a mother inform her son that Princess Diana has died?

Answer: Wait in your son's room so that you catch him right as he wakes up the morning that the news breaks. Be sure to have on a old robe. Wait until his eyes just eek open from sleep then declare loudly: "Princess Diana and her lover Dodi Al Fayed have been killed in a car accident in Paris!" Try and make it sound like your son is somehow to blame. Then walk out of the room..

Thats what my mom did anyway...

Mulaney

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Let's Not Screw Around Anymore

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

So...Ok
I sort of knew how to blog anyway and did the TEST as a way of introducing myself without introducing myself. It was meant to look humble. Here's the truth though: it was staged and it was phony and it was fake...and I ask for your forgiveness. I promise you this over the next few days: I will not lie to you again.

My name is John Mulaney and I am guest blogging for CP while she is working on her prose and poesy. The photo two posts below was taken of me at brunch with CP one afternoon in late July of 2005. I ate something polenta-based at that restaurant and I did not like it one bit!

I always end up with an underwhelming dish when I eat breakfast with someone else because I am unable to have what I really want. The breakfast food I really want (Teddy Grams eaten as cereal) is considered UNACCEPTABLE by society. And though I know I will face some scorn I have to declare this publicly: Teddy Grams work QUITE well as cereal. The bears themselves are as big as most cereal bits (Fruit Loops, the bananas in TRIX) and taste great with milk. I should add at this point that I have only used Honey flavored Teddy Grams for this....so far. Ha ha ha ha.

That is kind of all for now unless I think of more things to tell you in an hour or so. This is not what you're used to but it's a nice change of pace, isn't it? As for me I am honored to be guest-blogging and while I feel pressure to make these good and not let CP down I am not going to force anything. You are going to be witnesses to a process.

One final note:

Chelsea showed me how to do links and pics and stuff and those will come soon but first let me get my bearings.

Talk soon,
John Mulaney
P.S. Due to a Huff Post with CP last summer a Google image search of me yields sharks, sharks, and more sharks.

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Test...

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

Testing how to blog. Testing.
Love
John Mulaney

This post by guest-blogger John Mulaney

I am taking a week to work on some writing endeavors...offline.

Yes, I said offline.

DO NOT DESPAIR, FRIENDS.

I have contracted a rare talent to a post-a-day assignment....you may know him, here we are sharing a summer meal.........

MR. JOOOOOOOHN MULANEY, EVERYBODY!!

The new face of ChelseaPeretti.blogspot.com!

Yay.

Andy Milonakis has a blog. I like it so far. But I'm going to keep a very close eye on it...JUST IN CASE!

Do you like Andy? If you don't, maybe say something insulting to him out in public and he could write about how it makes him feel.

Abbreviated Cheer Strikes AGAIN!

Hey, thanks, Tim. Very sweet, you lazy, dyslexic piece of shit...or should I say pso? Hahhahaha! Gotcha bigtime, Tim. Take THAT into the New Year!

Very reminiscent of the ol' HB.

Uncredited in the Times

"Scientists who study the evolution of visual signaling have identified a wide and still expanding assortment of features and behaviors that make something look cute: bright forward-facing eyes set low on a big round face, a pair of big round ears, floppy limbs and a side-to-side, teeter-totter gait, among many others."

I am "scientists."

Driving

I failed my first driving test because I did a 3-point turn where I over-rotated and wound up facing oncoming traffic. I told my friend this story and she recounted failing for "peeling out" of the DMV lot.

That's a fantastic way to fail. There are so many fantastic failures possible in the world. I love it. I LOVE YOU, WORLD!

PS I joined a cult and cannot speak to my family/friends anymore. This blog counts as that so it's over now, too.

Scientific Photo Research

Those of you who know me, know I am hard at work on a scientific project in which I am trying to find the answer to the questions: "How are you so cute?" and "Who's a cute little doggy?"

Here are two (2) photographs from my most recent study:





I feel like I am getting close to an answer but there is still much work to be done.

From the research archives:

"Who is a cute little puppy?"

Jan 3, Variety Shac--Shonali holds down the fort

UPCOMING SHAC:
Tuesday, Jan 3rd.
8pm doors, start 8:30pm sharp.

Me/Heather/Andrea are all out of town--Shonali is holding it down for us.

Should be a good show...

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS:
Whitest Kids U' Know
Jessica Delfino
Debbie Shea

@ Galapagos (in the BACK ROOM)
70 N. 6th St
L train to Bedford
$5 suggested donation

NEXT SHAC: TUES. FEB. 7TH

...we will be reunited and it will feel so good...

Something I saw in Berkeley, CA

This huge mobile home:


Then these people emerging from it:


It's the kind of picture VICE magazine would turn into a "DO" in some way that you would actually suddenly respect this family. But the truth is they didn't deserve it and VICE magazine tricked you.

Proper-way-to-serve-a-slice-of-frosted-cake-insanity.

This was a great cake my aunt made.



It was great. Banana nut cake with cream cheese frosting (which I love...kind of hate it when people don't like cream cheese frosting. Sort of annoying...why don't you like it? I do. It just doesn't add up.). Anyhow, it was great. Very nice of her.

I kindly offered to slice it for all of us gathered around the table. I stood and began the laborious task...happy to be helping my family enjoy their dessert.

But--what's this? A stern lecture on frosting orientation? Oh! Yes! Yes, it was! Before I could possibly understand what was happening to me, I was being vehemently lectured by multiple parties about how I had served several of the slices "wrong" because the way I flipped the slice the frosting was oriented to the right. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked politely. They assured me in their most neurotic, deranged voices that they were being quite serious.

"Your slice is correct though, Chelsea, because you are left-handed," one generous idiot said.

I continued to balk like a balkan. "Are you guys seriously not fucking kidding?" I asked sweetly, eyes wide and moist with concern.

They maintain that you are supposed to be able to fork from the unfrosted side out towards the frosted side, so frosting is generally supposed to go on the left. They maintain that I will now notice this if I look for it at any restaurant and that this is how cake is to be served.

Anyhow, here's to you, cake slicing tip!

SUK A DIK CAKE SLICING TIP!

Update: Several emails and phone calls later, the Peretti family is clarifying: The point of the cake is supposed to be the side of the cake closest to the diner (frosted top to the left).

Peretti Poker

We've had some Peretti poker games of late...


All these overly-competitive hands share DNA with my own.

Here is the picture of trust:


Certain people felt certain other people weren't ante-ing up consistently. So they developed this reminder tactic where they would keep a finger on their chip until all parties had put in. It was also a helpful reminder of how not to be, as a person.