So did you guys watch R. Kelly's VMA performance or what?

For starters, the guy who did RK's intro makes me weep inside.



Who is this gorgeous piece of shit?



He looks like something Hollywood cobbled together out of spare parts.



Two thumbs up on him just being a thing that exists.



Doubleu-o-doubleu!



After this intro (wait out the initial bit of the actual music video), you'll get to watch R. Kelly's entrance onto his elaborate custom-built theatrical set where he plays 28,000 parts in a lyrical tale of faithlessness, indignance, and lovers crossed...


RUFUS! CHUCK!

CHUCK! RUFUS!

Chuck looked at Rufus...

Rufus looked at Chuck! He said Chuck--Chuck said Rufus--!

Rufus said 'What?' Chuck said 'What?'

Chuck stared at Rufus...............Rufus stared right back at Chuck.

Chuck, Rufus.

Rufus, Chuck.

Chuck Chuck Rufus Chuck Chuck.

Chuck and Rufus! Rufus and Chuck! Chuck! RUFUS! RUFUS! Chuck! Ruuuufus, Chuuuuuck. CHUCK! Rufus!

I can't get it out of my mind.

Video here.

The act is nearly seven minutes long but don't worry it feels more like five centuries.