Had happy hour with some pals yesterday, as I had time to kill in my old neighborhood. FYI I really don't drink much these days. Want to clarify that even though my blog has the words "ice luge" and "happy hour" in close vicinity, I'm not such a huge drinker. Mom. Sober friends. Drunk friends. I'm serious. I'm obsessively moderate.
Aaaaaanyhow.
So there we were at happy hour.
Two of the four of us, myself sharply excluded, were campaigning insanely for the benefits of colonics.
It was these two:
They told us about this site, where you can read the journal of some asshole who drank some magic thing that made him have crazy shits over a period of 2 months. They said once you see the pictures you will never look back. "You will want it out of you, you will want it out of you." They described the crazy colors and textures of things that would be excreted.
B drew a picture of one on his cocktail napkin.
Happy hour!
E mused gently on the concept, taking it "very seriously" as a health option.
They described the same photos over and over. "There are mustard yellow rubbery things that come out of you--coiled--six feet long. Alien-like things with sacs on them. Parasites. You will want it out of you."
"You will want it out."
I want out of this happy hour out of this happy hour out of this happy hour.
Read insanely disgusting descriptions here.
Doctors, weigh in. Please. We need you.
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UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
Drue sends in the following report:
After seeing this post and the gross photos, I e-mailed my uncle who is a surgeon and director of the weight loss dieting clinic at Nyack Hospital...I directed him to the site. He says:
"Whatever these photos are - they probably are not anything from the human body...the digestive system, even in a situation of severe Diverticulitis (bowel obstruction), would not retain matter in "20 inch pieces...stuck to the walls of the intestines for many years" and passing sections of the intestine would be painful and also unlikely. Diverticulitis is essentially infected polyps or pouches in the large intestine which may be painful, but can be treated with either antibiotics or (as with an abscess or fistula) surgery.
This website also suggests that we are all walking around with huge intestinal worms, which is outrageous! Even pinworms will not grown beyond 1/2 inch in their adult form, and they can be treated using prescription drugs. Nowadays, even pinworm is rare.
The colon will not be "cleansed" by this kind of product. These herbal remedies generally have no more of an effect than any OTC laxative would, they might keep you in the bathroom, but they have no "cleansing" or "healing" properties. The best program for colon health is a diet high in fiber and drinking plenty of water. These people are kind of pushing the envelope with their claims of "improved skin and hair" as well. If you look in the instructions for this stuff, they recommend that you DO NOT use it for the long-term, with the exeption of their fiber product. I didn't read all of the testimonials, but if you were to move to a high fiber diet with plenty of fluids you would see results without this product...and certainly without whatever was in those photos!"
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