I personally can't stand the "crispness of the air!" And I would trade the "beautiful changing of the leaves!" for a sunny sidewalk any day. Don't be crazy, fall-lovers. Do you really love seasons? I cannot believe you are serious, no matter how many times you blather poetically through your annoyingly peppy scarves, breath marking a path in the air like a lighthouse light through a fog. People who love fall are generally more ardent and fervent than the job entails. If you love fall, you're like a Jehovah's Witness to me in that I do not want you in my home talking your nonsense. People who love fall: did you also invent polyester, the bird flu, and sundried tomatoes? Because those are things that suck too. HAH! Sundried tomato lovers I don't want to hear a peep out of you--you're batshit crazy too, but the topic is "Fall" and we must stay on task.
Fall-lovers! Here's a little quiz for you:
FALL-LOVERS QUIZ
1.) You love war and hate puppies.
2.) You love murder and and despise chocolate.
3.) You love tyranny and hate equanimity.
3.) You love tornados.
It was just a list of accusations, in the end, not a quiz! But I didn't want to tell you up front that because I was scared you wouldn't read the list. Everyone's always up for a quiz. You're being ridiculous, you see?
Not only do I hate Fall in and of itself, but Fall also reminds me that Winter is coming, and that dreaded month of December when I only wear the following wardrobe:
NO EXCEPTIONS!
NO EXCEPTIONS!
NO EXCEPTIONS!
NO EXCEPTIONS!
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