Isolate a line

“It is not a good idea for humans to taunt an apex predator by throwing food and blood into the water."

Just a great, great article, all around.

Flickr

Here's some recent photos I posted on flickr. I can't decide if I want to make it all public.

Italian Tuna Sandwich vids

You may remember a while back I met fellow blogger Adam Wade in his Hoboken stomping grounds to sample an Italian Tuna sandwich that he blogged about constantly.

We shot the experience and now you can consume it:

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

[Adam posts about it here.]

What did CP realize she needed after 40,000 continuous hours putting photos on flickr?

A showr!

I cannot believe the trends

What the fuck? Kids take heroin and IM each other? Whatever happened to logical deviant trends like phone sex? Why would anyone want to be fucked up on heroin and then log into IM? And why coordinate from different townships to both shoot up at the exact same time and then instant message while high on narcotics? How "quick" can you really be on heroin?

WHY. IM. ON HEROIN. MUTUALLY. TEENAGERS? I'M ASKING YOU. HOW IS THIS A BIG TREND. I DON'T GET IT.

Whiskey days

Here's a pic of me and my pal Roger back when we went through a real whiskey phase. We're talking bender upon bender. Then tack a bender onto that crap.

[Shout out to Fits]

IM for the day

Me and John M.

Me
you should grow a flavor saver

John
ugh, kill yourself

I've tapped up to 60% of the lettering off of the keys on my keyboard

(Numbers are pristine.)

JURY DUTY: A look back...

I can hardly believe that exactly one week ago today I was just waking up to head (further) downtown for Jury Duty!

The time since then has flown past on feathered wings. The woman that walked into City Hall on July 21st no longer exists. She died that day...turned into a shell and was sloughed off.

In her place was borne a woman:

• Who truly understood Democracy, who knew what it felt like to pay a major toll to her country...

• Who had fought for justice in the face of injustice, who had offered up her body and soul and spirit to sustain the American way.

That woman can never go back to her old life, her old friends. She no longer speaks to her family. Why would she? They are horrible people.

Thank you jury duty selection process for awakening an inner light in me that illuminated Patriotism, Perseverence, Punctuality, Pulchritude, Panoply, Parvenu, Prolix, and Papanicolaou Smear.

What did I learn?
Everything...

What did I teach?
Far more...

Who did I love?
Croissant guy.

Here's how I act at a wedding.

AW...JUST MARRIED

CONGRATULATIONS TO JONAH AND ANDREA! NOW MARRIED! YAYYYYY!!!!

Before Google SMS...

If I was lost here in NYC, I used to call my mom in CA sometimes and ask for her to google an address for me.

GOOGLE SMS REPLACES MOMS!

(My guess: some of you barely use your cellphones and don't share my excitement, while others of you use far more advanced technology, ie, a sidekick or treo (etc) and don't share my excitement. Spot on?)

R We D8ing

Texting in the NYT

By the way, Google SMS is like the best magic in the world. Sometimes I wonder why are people not running and screaming in the streets constantly--we got so much going on, yall!

And, in conclusion, for no reason: Let's do this, NYC!

Saving Private Bathroom

Most bathrooms have doors on them. Good idea! Excellent work!

Some bathrooms do not have a door on them. Bad choice, architect. Bad choice, homeowner. Re-think it, team!

Still other bathrooms have only a beaded curtain, or a very thin door, or a sturdy door but with a 3 foot gap over it (owing to the bohemian or industrial quality of the loftspace environs). Hats off for effort but these also suck, dude, come on. Do you get that the restroom is still aurally continuous with the adjoining space? And that you're sitting there stirring our cups of tea, meanwhile I'm peeing at the top of my lungs 3 feet away.

Isolate a line (or two)

Also let's play our old favorite game "Isolate a Line" with the article linked to in the previous post:

Mr Chepkurgor also said he was also impressed by Mr Clinton's wife, Hillary, for standing by Mr Clinton during the Monica Lewinksy scandal.

He said Mrs Clinton acted like a "like an African woman".

International Brotherhood of Batshit Crazy Men

American Men! German Men! African Men! You're doin' your thing!

Drugdealers, your call:

July 27 RiverFlicks @ Pier 54:
Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke, Rated R

Your attendance = ultimate score or big mistake and obvious trap ?

Funny

A blog post on the heat.

Breakfast

Been having oatmeal with bananas, pinenuts, and raisins in it lately. Just wanted to let you know it's very satisfying.

A while back I told you about this wonderful university.

Yes, I am still enrolled.



I am still keeping busy doing vocal workshops on Thursdays and several jam sessions a week. These guys really push me to challenge myself and I am extremely grateful to them for that.



Off to jam and train,
Chelsea

ps there have been some slight changes to the building--updated pix to follow!

Printer (+ extra credit!)

Sadly, I feel like you guys really hung me out to dry on the old printer question.

I repeat and beg your assistance. Trust me I don't like having to do this any more than you like reading it--but we MUST take care of it.

I need a printer. A fax, scanner, and copy machine wouldn't hurt either. Does this all-in-one look good? Anyone have any other suggestions?

(I use an iBook G4.)

EXTRA CREDIT++:
What's a good multivitamin.

Is it bad to break things off with someone by saying:

"We're probably just two people who have no business being involved. I mean, you should be dating some blond and I should be dating...probably a black man."

Tender letter to the people who have hotmail addresses:

Hey, you! Hey there...how are you...?

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Today, I thought I would do less thinking and sit down and actually take the time to write you a letter. Basically all I want to say is that there are so many other options out there. You could have a gmail account. Do you need an invite? Never be embarassed to ask I would gladly invite you. I think even Yahoo email is supposed to be pretty good.

I really hope you find a way out of this mess.

I believe that you can, and will.

Forever,
Chelsea

P. 178

"A man at a bar tells me I look like a fly. I ask him why he thinks I look like a fly and he tells me that flies are born in shit and live in shit and he tells me I look like shit and look like I've lived in, with and through shit, thus I look like a fly. I don't know what to say so I say thank you, my friend, thank you."

Up to page 99 & James Frey's book is speaking to me

Cake and Modigliani. Thank god something is speaking to me. Thank god for talent. Truly talented people that touch you in ways you can't even imagine to be possible.

Miranda July.
James Frey.
Amy Miles.
Steve Coogan.

That's 4 off the top of my head.

Happy Monday.

I'm two hours into mine, and so far it's completely sad.

Miranda July: Me, You and Everyone We Know

Miranda July went to my high school. I have seen her perform before and was curious about her new movie that I had heard so much about from so many people.

It's called Me and You and Everyone We Know. It's playing at the IFC theater on 6th Ave.

I loved it.

(Here is her blog.)

EMERGENCY!!! CALL....UH........WHICH ONE WAS IT...

Italy has a dual approach of handling emergency calls: it has both specific telephone numbers for medical (118), fire (115), police (113 and 112), car problems (116) and other emergency services, and a "unified" emergency number, which appears to be shifting from 113 to 112 in the longer term. MORE.

Thanks to Jasmine

Italian food to a point of RIDICULOUSNESS

My brother is married and freshly back from his honeymoon. Check out this marital feasting post from his..erh-hm, sounds so formal...WIFE...Andrea (of andreaharner.com)!

I've had some of my most dream-inducing meals ever there, specifically in Siena. Who can hook me up with flights to Italy?

Jude Law: Ride the Poonanny!

Yes, it's 2PM and I'm back from jury duty. Explanation to follow. In the meantime enjoy the above.

THE VERDICT ON JURY DUTY

Here is the meager "liveblogging" report from (Day 2) at City Hall *SPOILER ALERT* in which you find out I don't get assigned to any case whatsoever:

-----------------------

Today’s expected arrival time: 9:10
MAAT: 9:30, laptop in tow.

PLEASE HAVE A SEAT AND DO NOT APPROACH THE COUNTER AT THIS TIME. THANK YOU.

I APPROACH THE COUNTER!!!!!!

I'm ignored until I eventually start laughing and walk away. 4 SECONDS ENTERTAINMENT--not bad!

Pop out to the croissant guy. Hey old friend…! Point to a dense, seeded brown bun and ask: "What's that?" “Wheat” …. “Just wheat?” ….. “Yeah.” ….. “I’ll take a chocolate croissant and a coffee.” Of course I will. I think of him as the "croissant guy."

Back in the big room. 8 names are called, selected for "Gonzales" case. (Not real name). One selected juror's reaction is to fold his newspaper, toss it down, and scowl. I want to meet eyes with him and eagerly mouth: “Congratulations, [his full name]!” Or maybe just congratulations [first name], that's more friendly. And a thumbs up.

Now's the moment of triumph...I proudly open my laptop. I’m instant messaging in several windows before I even turn on my computer.

A desk lady gets on the mic and makes an announcement: when the do not approach the desk sign is up please do not approach the desk--got it!

(Chewing and typing) How is the chocolate inside this thing so good? You wouldn't expect that here. (Sipping) And great coffee. I gotta hand it to the croissant man, he has a captive customer base and he could have phoned it in, but he didn't. He's got great product...

I could actually come write here sometimes...it's very peaceful in a way.

The sound of 8 zillion attendances being taken echoes uselessly behind me...

WAIT! (Screeching of brakes) I CANNOT GET ON BLOGGER. Repeat. I cannot get on blogger.

I spend at least 20 minutes retrying, over and over. Clickclickclickclickclickclick on bookmark.

Clickclickclick. Great! This whole laptop thing is really working out.

I open a word document and start writing this dreary post in it.

10:54 bored. Still, making better time than yesterday.

Bickering and blabbering in IM is greatly reducing my "liveblogging" capabilities.

12:30PM: It's over.

"THERE ARE NO MORE TRIALS TO BE ASSIGNED AT THIS TIME. YOU ARE ALL EXCUSED FROM JURY DUTY. PLEASE APPROACH THE DESK TO GET YOUR PROOF OF SERVICE PAPERS."

"Oh ho ho! Now we are invited to approach the desk!" That's my exaggerated body language as I lope over to it.


~Fin~

"LIVEBLOGGING"--FROM JURY DUTY!

And by liveblogging I mean jotting down realtime notes throughout the day to finally blog now. It was like methadone. (Note: I cannot guarantee that parallel.)

So, here's what I wrote today as I waded through the exercise in sheer, relentless boredom that is commonly known as Jury Duty selection. ****SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!**** I don't want to spoil the ending, but I wasn't selected today and have to go back tomorrow.

---------------------------------------------------------------

TIME I WAS TOLD TO ARRIVE AT JURY SELECTION: 8:45AM.
MAATAJS (My Actual Arrival Time at Jury Selection): 9:30AM.

I was expecting to join a handful of people, had no idea it would be freaking Ellis Island style, anonymous, DMV type masses waiting for their names to be called. I walk in, I look around, and have no idea what to do. There is a desk and it is manned by someone who probably does know what I should do, however there is also a sign that absurdly reads: PLEASE HAVE A SEAT AND DO NOT APPROACH THE COUNTER AT THIS TIME. THANK YOU.

So I scanned the room for eyecatching guys (too obvious about it?), saw none, and sat my rear end down to wait. And wait and wait.

Then a desk guy got on the mic and started listing off information. Never have I so wished I'd been convicted of a prior felony (INSTANT DQ, FELONS! WAY TO THINK AHEAD.).

I'm starving and half asleep. Luckily there's a croissant guy selling stuff right outside the door on our floor--he's cleaning up out there! Or is he an enterprising jurist? That's how I'd like to think of him, because it gives me 1 second of entertainment.

I would like to try to engage the other potential jurists in patriotic singalongs!

FANTASY JURY DUTY SINGALONG SETLIST
1.) Yankee Doodle
2.) Oops, I Did It Again
3.) Star Spangled Banner
4.) Born in the USA (I'm eligible because I was...)
5.) And of course, Hey Jude

"I need to see those hands in the air! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP WITH ME!" I would shout, running around with Richard Simmons-level energy.

Reality: nothing is happening. I am sitting in a chair.

Why didn't I bring my book? Idiotic. I thought about it and was like nah! Why was I like nah?

I want to raise my hand at the end of the droning information recital: Is there a tanning deck?

PLEASE HAVE A SEAT AND DO NOT APPROACH THE COUNTER AT THIS TIME. THANK YOU. You have no idea how bad I want to approach that counter. Would I get gunned down? (Fingers cruxed!)

Costume Ideas for How I Should Have Dressed
1.) Klanswoman, full attire

Too obvious?

Holy shit, I think I see Bobbito! Bobbito the DJ. I'm almost positive it is him. Years back, I wrote a positive review for Details of a party he DJd at and the editor (since fired) changed the entire thing to be obnoxiously negative and the opposite of how I felt. But at least he kept my name on it!

(Long intimate thought about girl in pink polo shirt with nosejob bandaging...she later lets us all know she suffered a basketball injury. I oughta take up basketball again, always did love that sport....SUSPICIOUS GLANCE TO CAMERA)

MAGAZINE PILE DISCOVERY! Vanity Fair. I read about Eastern European models and how they are just RUNNING the industry. HURRAH!

(Chewing) I gotta say, fantastic chocolate croissant and coffee! I'll have to come back here for an 8AM snack once I get my finances back on track post Jury Duty!

JUROR QUESTIONNAIRE #17: What are your hobbies or recreational activities? I like pilates!

I stifle the urge to shush a deaf lady because I just feel like she's signing loud. It feels like the equivalent of someone constantly using all caps in IM.

DRESS CODE: While no formal code exists, jurors are requested to dress in a manner respectful to the court. REQUEST DENIED!

Bored. Back to Vanity Fair-to-Middlin. Time? 10:10AM. Only twelve-thousand more hours til 5!

If a guy's text to me included "yup" does that definitely mean he's not interested? "Yup" and "Yep" seem like major buzzkill words for a flirt sesh. It should be yeah or yea...

Rollcall: Why do people get furious that this Chinese lady is mispronouncing their name? Who gives a shit? This isn't your intro at Carnegie Hall/Shea Stadium/The Apollo Theater/WWF, motherfucker calm down. Same goes for people who get mad if I don't remember their name when I met them a year ago at a party. Again: Who. gives. a. shit.

I get called in for a smaller group of 20 or so prospective jurors on a breach of contract case. You have no idea how bad I want to start crying during questioning, weeping about a traumatic breach of contract that happened in my past: "Sniff, sniff, TOOT, and then...and then I realized...it had been a breach of contraaaaaaaaaaaact...."

Also want to cheer the one attorney, but boo the second one who stands arbitrarily. Just boo and cheer certain keywords in general.

I have no idea what this lawyer is saying. It sounds like blah blah blah to me. I have a term for that feeling, I call it: Math Class.

Dear US Government. All my guilt about allowing someone to talk me into buying a Senior ticket at Wedding Crashers: GONE!

The lawyers are going around the room asking people what bumper stickers they have and other fun questions like:

What magazines to you read regularly? Just Black Tail.
What hobbies do you enjoy? Badmitton, but if you want to talk about it in detail, I'd prefer to step outside because I get very emotional about it.
Anything that would prevent you from being fair? (Very deferential vocal tone) I'm very congested. I tend to have to do a lot of spitting, hacking, loogies, and farmers which I can do into a brown paper bag.

11:48AM Dying to get online.

12:54PM Back from lunch.

So tired of the juror's social scene.

They all "talked shop" over a communal lunch. Me? Hiked up my shirt and worked on a tummy tan while eating rice and beans alone at an adjacent table. Tomorrow, bikini?

Checking voicemail now. Missed call from Jasmine. Tells me of the London attacks today. She asks that I don't take trains today as she thinks it's a "coordinated effort." Cool. I'll just stay tucked away here at CITY HALL. "We got to pray just to make it today, aw yeah we pray, praaaaay" --MC HAMMER

Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. Why didn't I get a sidekick. "If I could turn back time..." --CHER

After a break, Lawyer Two is asked a question and says only: "I can't say anything unless my adversary is in the room." YOUR ADVERSARY IS LATE. I'M VOTING FOR YOU. I FORGET WHICH SIDE YOU WERE ON, AND I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THE CASE, BUT I LIKE THAT YOU'RE HERE. YOU WIN.

Excuse me...sir? I just realized my period is late, may I be excused?

1:13PM Really starting to lose it. Earlier, laughed at a guy who said his hobby included being a member of a PC user group.

1:44PM Just awoke from a catnap.

Sir? I have a question for the guy who was in Vietnam. What was that like?

Another break? Dude! We're taking breaks from taking breaks at this point. And let's be real, these aren't "breaks" they're waits. It's like when you're on the phone and someone says "I'll let you go." Thanks, pal. Thanks for the favor. Great break.

[Not selected for this trial. Back in the main room.]

2:45PM Crying as I read a Glamour mag article (April 2005 issue).

(Head suddenly swiveling, as if awaking from trance) OMG OMG OMG! People on laptops have a signal--THEY HAVE A SIGNAL. People all around me are iming. THEY'RE IMING. Dying for my laptop. Consider offering someone $5 to check my email. No. On principle no. I'm better than that. I can wait.

Released early------ 3:30 !



Must return tomorrow and guess who's coming with? Lappy T!

OFF TO JURY DUTY.

Note the timestamp on the previous post. Note the timestamp on this post. (BANG! <-----shoots self in head)

TODAY WAS MY FIRST DAY WAKING UP TO MY NEW CD ALARM CLOCK! IT WAS AWESOME.

OMG. SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP of my old clock, which I used to jerk awake to, bleary-eyed, and feeling under my pillow for my shotgun, sweat beads a-burstin' on my forehead, feeling under certain attack. That's awkward phrasing but I CAN'T BE LATE TO JURY DUTY. Please let there be someone hot there. I need someone to think I have beautiful red eyes and eye bags. (I think I actually might be delirious now. I always worry about first-time readers when I have a crappy first post up. Must. Stop. Blogging. J.u.r.y. d.u.t.y. Camera phones PROHIBITED. Phew I don't have one. So I can text during? That'll be my first question, straight outta the stable. HLP IM TRAPT N JRY DTY I HTE AMRCA 4VR. JKJK, JST RGHT NOW, SRSLY)

Woke to: Amy Miles.

WEDDING CRASHERS

I thought was really funny. More later. Brain is done for now.

I HAVE SQUEALINGS FOR YOU

Perks

Being an incredibly high profile blogger has certain benefits--like getting free stuff (when promotions people walk into a bar and indiscriminately hand products out to everyone they see.)

One such perk was the Schick Quattro for Women!

This razor is really effective.

Seriously.

I wanted to powder my legs after, because I mistook them for the ass of a baby.

Can't stand it. (Apparently).

Hilarious.

I LOVE IT WHEN U CALL ME FLIP FLOPPA

Let us take a moment to reflect on tragedies of summers past....

In particular, this one, involving the beloved Cameron Marlow and documented by the lovely Andrea Harner.

WHITTARD OF CHELSEA, ENGLISH ROSE FLAVOUR TEA

W.o.w. Delicious.

[Thanks to Jasmine.]

What's a good pool in NYC?

American Girl Place, 5th Ave and 49th St.

Check out the pix on this post:

"There is a barber shop where little girls take their dolls to have their hair brushed for $15..."

Also pop on over to the unreal American Girl Place site. Homepage pic is to die for. No literally someone should die.

Hello everyone!

Check out this awesome rendering of my father, The Coney Island Hacky Sacker:



Sent in by reader Tyler Campbell.

It has since been added to the original post and I think it greatly enhances the scrolling experience. You're bored and useless--TRY IT OUT!

Just noticed someone got me the James Frey boooooook!!!!

Yay! I'm excited. James if it was you: DOUBLE YAY! You're a pal and you've been through a ton.

Quick Q & A:

Q: What am I doing to celebrate?
A: Singing "Amazon Grace" with deeply soulful, spiritual vocal stylings.

Aaaaaaand....blog lapdance over.

Come tonite, fun show.

Tonite the beloved AD MILES and BOBBY TISDALE host a live radio show at PSNBC's Tuesday night slot. I think it will be podcast at some point. You may remember the boys from this post.

I did the last one and it was really fun. This one should be too.

The Marquee, 356 Bowery (just below 4th St, West side of Bowery), 8PM, I think it's $5.

Good line up can't remember everybody on it but I know: Todd Barry, Andrea Rosen, Ahna Tessler offhand.

Gotta hand it to the antibacterial liquid soap industry!

Ever since those Softsoap bitches came out--I am done with bars of handsoap 4EVR!

SOFTSOAP DOT COM FOR LYFE!

Officially this should be my blogging retirement announcement. Alas.....it is not!

Making fun of your friends as they attempt to kick it to someone is always funny.*

I saw this pic and caption a bit ago on Scanlon's blog and it made me laugh.


Jay sleazing on this helen girl, it was so cheezy

"You can have that star...*giggles*"


GOOD ONE, SCANLON!

(Did I already post it? Can't remember.)


*It's also funny to make fun of your friends when they awkwardly use slang from the 90's, like: "kick it to someone."

Did everyone see this?

Somewhere other than America, a woman turned into a man. Subsequently, treated like a saint. American reception would be different. Talk show circuit. Some sort of hate crime. Reality show at worst, John Water's film at best.

My feelings on the issue remain the same, regardless.

Loyal and insane readers may recall a prior post: "Iced coffee--ATTACKED!" wherein I wrote an anti-iced coffee missive.

Well.

These photos were just sent in annoymously. I cannot believe it myself. I am disheartened to see what I have done.

O, reader...!

I do not know what to do or say to make this okay...


BUT WHO SENT IT?

IT HAD TO BE SOMEONE WHO LIKES ICED COFFEE AND WANTS TO DESTROY ME.

Housekeeping

I need a printer. A fax, scanner, and copy machine wouldn't hurt either. Does this all-in-one look good? Anyone have any other suggestions?

(I use an iBook G4.)

Grama's Garden

Are you kidding me?

This is the soap in your bathroom, restaurant?

EXCUSE ME EVERYBODY, I'M TALKING TO RESTAURANT!



SO are you being serious?

Really, really this is what you have out?

A bar of soap in a plastic dish?

Here's a quick list I came up with of other things you could feature sinkside:

A pile of crap.
A small sign that reads: FUCK YOU.
A handful of dead bugs.
A live snake, coiled up and ready to strike!
A stack of paper towels soaked in poison.

Music critic Robert Christgau and that guy from lastnightsparty.com--SPOTTED!

Can you tell which one is the music critic and which one runs a site with pictures of hipsters on it?

If you need some clues'n'hints, let me know. (Siren Festival)

That'd be funny

If a Spanish spy got discovered over IM because he accidentally slipped up and wrote: JAjajajajajajaaaaaa!

"You want your stockings to be up to here..."

HACKY SACK GUY, CONEY ISLAND

My dad is a hacky sacker on Coney Island (red hat, green shorts). I've always respected him because no matter what he cares about being the best he can be and teaching others. My dad always taught me if you want something go after it, keep your eye on the ball, and don't worry about tomorrow when you can live for today.

~love you dad~

Ignore Unless You're Bored

This is a comedy-related post I came across that's probably irrelevant to all but 10-15 people in NYC. It makes me laugh, though. I've never been to this bar and have no idea who the comic in question is, but I like that he so disturbed and frightened blogger, Village Voice columnist and cupcake lover Rachel KB that she wrote paragraph upon paragraph about the performance without naming his name. Dude traumatized her to the point where she was moved to check her reaction against that of all the comics present. And then the comics all defended him. Hahaha.

Whitest Kids You Know

Did standup at their show tonite and it was the first time I've seen them. Funny. Let's welcome a new link to the sidebar! <----And let's also welcome a lame sentence to my blog!

Whitest Kids You Know

Brief newsbreak...

Ahahahahahaha

BOBBY'S MAGICAL BAG!

Bobby has a magic sack, if you haven't already heard.

BUT WHAT'S IN IT?


It's got the solution to nasal congestion...!


It's got protection against the harsh rays of the sun!


It's got the solution to unclean tooth and tongue!


It's got protection against coherent, cohesive thought!
<

PROTECTIONS AND SOLUTIONS!

CONEY ISLAND SIREN FESTIVAL

CONEYISLAND PALS

(Jason's hairdo got in my lazy eye.)

Going to Siren Festival

Not because I'm at all knowledgable about bands, but because Shonali gave me passes. Looking forward to laying around in the sun, some cool drinks, and talking to my friend I'm bringing who's finally in NY. Unless it rains in which case I'll look forward to fleeing. I'm gonna bring snacks in my purse like a g-ma.

Would be into seeing Morningwood (Chantal's always seemed cool), but not sure if I'll get out there in time to see them. That was my tentative attempt at "talking bands."

Really just had an epic battle with myself.

Wanted to sign off a professional email with:

"Fuck buds 4 lyfe!"

Because it made me laugh.

Sat here with the email open knowing it was wrong, with the text highlighted, unable to delete. Just sort of convincing myself that even though it was a professional correspondance, it was a pretty laid-back contact....yadda, yadda, yadda.....staring at it and not wanting to let it go.

Chuckling intermittently.

I am proud to announce I just read this entire thread.

About whether or not to eat (or what to eat) before an AM workout.

(It came from a google search for the best stuff to eat before exercise.)

CNN headlines snoozarific today...

MORE NEWS
• Watch Free: Video news hourly updates
• Rehnquist says he's staying on | Watch Free
• Hurricane Emily aims at Jamaica | Projected Path
• Source: Rove said media told him of agent | Watch Free
• SI.com: Tiger holds on to Open lead | Watch Free
• Sen. Clinton seeks video game sex scene probe
• SI.com: Plea deal struck in steroids scandal
• CNN/Money: Automakers looking to 'convert' you

(SORRY JAMAICA, having a hurricane "aimed" at you is not snoozarific. You just got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time for this complaint post. )

Benicio Del Toro

I was walking to the gym the other day when who did I come upon but Benecio DT! The weird thing is it was one of those things where I couldn't place him. He looked vaguely familiar...and it was like we were walking in slow motion...and I was staring at his face...and he was staring at mine.

The whole thing was very animal-like, particularly his half of it. And I don't mean animalistic like wild and sexy--I mean animal-like. I mean he really has the look and energy of an animal. Like a lion, pacing toward you. Hey, maybe his name should be Benicio Del Lion! Hhaah. Okay, now we're having fun here...he had a lot of different colors in his face (sidenote) and was more manly looking than the average g-e-n-t you see walking about NY.

Which brings me to another thing: there's a breed of spindly "clever" lads infesting nyc bars and restaurants and events that think they're too smart to be romantic or sweet. Or straightforward. Lame. I guess this is the time to let you know that I'm exhausted and going to bed.

(Miss ya BDT!)

If You Amazon Wishlist Upon A Star...

Gotta take the time to thank the dear readers who hooked me up!

I now have a CD alarm clock and a PRINCE CD TO PUT IN IT!

E.x.c.i.t.e.d.

~THANK YOU~

CIRCLE ONE: Y/N

Let's start passing Y/N notes again. They could be good for lots of personal and professional scenarios...discrete, streamlined...let's do it.

Y/N NOTES I MAY PASS IN THE NEAR FUTURE:

AUDITION:
Did you think I was right for the part? Y/N

RESTAURANT:
Hey! When the bill comes, could you pay for this meal? Y/N
Hey, could you also loan me $1200? Y/N

LANDLORD:
Would you consider turning off the steam heat just for during summer? Y/N

BAR:
Do you have cable? Y/N
Could I watch Being Bobby Brown over at your house? Y/N

Grama's Garden

(Click in for detail / better color.)

I keep a stamp at home and stamp my hand before I go out.

It makes me seem like a fun person.

I stamp my hand before dates and stuff, to show people how wild I am and how hard I party.

Sometimes....I stamp it too much!

Like before brunch: "Dude, craaaaaaazy night."

Yes, there is a new Variety Shac short up

At first I wasn't into this one. Now it's grown on me some so I'll link to it and you can see what you think.

WORKOUT

Feel the magic this Thursday!

Say something nice this Thursday!

Slap someone five this Thursday!

Wink it up this Thursday!

;) ;) ;)

Take your time this Thursday!

Monsignore Loony Tunes

All that glitters is pure gold.

[Via Michellelelelelelelelelele]

What's this?

A tiny blip on the wordplayodometer? Let's take a closer LOOK!

Pizza I dream of

Fontina cheese, thinly sliced Yukon gold potatoes, truffle oil.

(Five Points)