"But don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Who would I tell?"

Here's an articulated answer to that bullshitass question. Print and distribute in context.

You would tell:
•A bunch of our mutual friends who would be interested in this because they know both of us.
•Your significant other.
•A family member.
•Your closest friend(s).
•A neighbor after a bit of wine.
•An entire table of old friends at an intimate dinner party.
•Someone on your Jetblue flight who you think is definitely not connected to the story in any way.
•Service industry peeps: Therapist, Hairdresser, Bartender, Priest.

So. Don't tell those people or anyone else that seems like a fair exception to "Don't tell anyone."