Anyone else lost a phone recently?

I did!

I'm thinking of throwing a Lost Cellphone party. If you've lost a cellphone in the last year, you're pretty much invited. It's gonna be madness! What we'll do is dance to songs that have any words about phones in them ("Mr telephone maaan..."), or any themes of loss and especially songs that have both telephonic and loss themes!!!! That's what we'll be calling a "double whammy" at this nutso Lost Cellphone party which will be a blast and immensely cathartic for the 5 or so of you who arrive. We're gonna do a lot of hand holding and hugs too so bring your game face!

The thing is the party has been cancelled and instead I'm going to order a red velvet cake and eat it by myself, entirely incommunicado, burrowed in my Fort Greene home. Bread Stuy is where I will get it because they make the best red velvet cake in the world.

Also: someone order me a neighborhoody that says "I lost my cellphone." My identity is forever changed. Fuck it. I'm not replacing it.

Get me an "I lost my cellphone" pantsuit too that says "I lost my cellphone" down each of the legs.

What kind of sidekick like thing does sprint offer this may be the only way to turn this around.