I've given you some general suggestions for bad advice before. Now let's get more specific.
If someone asks you to look over their cover letter and help them edit it, what you do is: go through and just add the word "quite," repeatedly, throughout. I've already vetted this for you and it is hilarious.
Here are a few excerpted examples from the lengthy cover letter I edited for a friend. I sent it back with the subj header "EDITS IN CAPS" :
•I believe my professional and academic skills and interests would translate QUITE effectively...
•I wrote QUITE a dissertation on sustainability...
•At present, I am compiling QUITE a study...
•In addition, I offer familiarity with international development organizations and QUITE a network of contacts...
etc.
PS My friend's cover letter was smarter than me and I had nothing to add--it was over my head.
PPS My cover letters usually consist of "See resume attch'd"
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