My wife is picking the Giants... her logic is sound

Every year I ask my loving and adoring wife for her picks in the playoffs. In 2006 she got every single playoff series correct (including each of the Cardinals upsets.)

The thing is that she doesn't follow baseball. Her logic isn't always sound (she picked the Cardinals over the Tigers because Tony LaRussa is involved in animal shelters and Jim Leyland smokes.) But who cares about the method if the results are good?

So today, the day after our 7th wedding anniversary, we made the 2010 picks official.

SULLY:
So honey, first we need the A. L. picks.

SULLY'S WIFE:
The Al? The Al who?

SULLY:
The American League picks.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Well I liked The Town, so I am going with the Red Sox.

SULLY:
That's great honey, but the Red Sox aren't in it.

SULLY'S WIFE:
OK so who is playing?

SULLY:
The Texas Rangers versus the Tampa Bay Rays.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Bay Rays? Is that like Fay Wray? What kind of name is that?

SULLY:
They are playing Texas.

SULLY'S WIFE:
I am all about Friday Night Lights. So I have to go with Texas.

SULLY:
OK... next is the Twins versus the Yankees.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Well I'm a mother of Twins. I'm leaning towards the Twins. Who are the managers?

SULLY:
Ron Gardenhire manages the Twins. He's a baseball lifer. And Joe Girardi manages the Yankees. He got braces because his daughter got braces and they are doing it together.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Awwww. That's great. Braces trump Twins. Yankees win.

SULLY:
OK, you have Rangers vs. Yankees. To the National League. Phillies versus Reds.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Our fish is named Red.

SULLY:
Yes he is.

SULLY'S WIFE:
You've got to go with Red. Reds win.

SULLY:
OK, Giants versus Braves.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Got to go with Poppy's team. Giants.

SULLY:
Fair enough. So let's go to the next round. New York vs. Texas.

SULLY'S WIFE:
This is baseball right?

SULLY:
Yes, we are talking about baseball.

SULLY'S WIFE:
I guess if Friday Night Lights were baseball it would be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Night Lights... that's too many lights. Tell me something about them.

SULLY:
The Yankees are the defending Champs. The Rangers have never won anything.

SULLY'S WIFE:
The underdog! I like that. I am going for the Panthers.

SULLY:
The who?

SULLY'S WIFE:
The Dillon Panthers. They are from Texas. I am all about Texas now.

SULLY:
OK, San Francisco versus Cincinnati.

SULLY'S WIFE:
I thought we already did them.

SULLY:
This is the next round.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Oh jeez. Tell me about them.

SULLY:
You've got the City by the Bay versus the Queen City.

SULLY'S WIFE:
The WHAT?

SULLY:
The Queen City. Cincinnati.

SULLY'S WIFE:
If there is a Queen City, it is San Francisco. What else?

SULLY:
The Reds manager used to be the Giants manager.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Right. Dusty Springfield. He had his kid run on the field.

SULLY:
Yeah, during the World Series. The Giants have the long haired pot smoking pitcher, Lincecum. And the yoga hippie pitcher Barry Zito.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Yoga hippies! Got to go with Yoga Hippies! Giants win.

SULLY:
OK, that's a San Francisco vs. Texas World Series.

SULLY'S WIFE:
I'm not feeling it. I don't even care enough for it to be a Sophie's Choice. It's like choosing between canola oil and sunflower oil. Nothing is Olive Oil.

SULLY:
Just pick one.

SULLY'S WIFE:
You aren't giving me enough. Is there a big divorce or something?

SULLY:
That's the Dodgers.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Do they have mascots?

SULLY:
I think so.

SULLY'S WIFE:
Show me the mascots.

[Sully looks up the Rangers mascot... who is evidently named "Captain." He shows the picture of Captain to his wife. She looks it over.]




SULLY'S WIFE:
Is that a camel?

SULLY:
I'm not sure.

SULLY'S WIFE:
What the hell is it?

SULLY:
It could be a horse.

SULLY'S WIFE:
It looks like a camel. How about the Giants?

[Sully looks up the Giants mascot, a seal named Lou Seal. He shows the picture to his wife.]














SULLY'S WIFE:
Awww. You see that LOOKS like a seal! It doesn't look ANYTHING like a camel.

SULLY:
You are right.

SULLY'S WIFE:
I'm going with the Giants. I like Lou Seal.



So there you have it folks...
The San Francisco Giants will defeat the Texas Rangers in the World Series.
Why?

Because Friday Night Lights is a great show and the Giants mascot doesn't look like a camel.

And THAT is the best playoff preview analysis you will EVER hear!