Highlights of this "online vid" include:
*Me seriously quoting Madonna!
*More meandering blather!
*More intense music.
*More tense laughter.
*And finally: the saddest cheers.
Monday, November 27, 2006
By the way, more Time Out NY video
Highlights of this "online vid" include:
*Me seriously quoting Madonna!
*More meandering blather!
*More intense music.
*More tense laughter.
*And finally: the saddest cheers.
What to say to the crowd that has it all?
I ate a steak and an ice cream sundae tonight. Sometimes I don't know if I eat healthy or if eating healthy eats me, bigtime.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
If you have audio enabled on your computer...
go on ahead and treat yourself to this eyeglasses site.
I don't know what this says about me in particular, but I just spent a good 20 minutes mousing over "kids, plastic, kids, plastic, kids, plastic..." and just zoning out to the music.
I feel like I gained some clarity on stuff. Like: Do I want to have kids? Ans: Plastic.
I don't know what this says about me in particular, but I just spent a good 20 minutes mousing over "kids, plastic, kids, plastic, kids, plastic..." and just zoning out to the music.
I feel like I gained some clarity on stuff. Like: Do I want to have kids? Ans: Plastic.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Hm, 1, 2, 3...or 4?!
1. Pros: A ton of pride. Cons: Gay pride.
2. Pros: Heroin addict. Cons: Hairdo.
3. Pros: Seems very centered, great smile. Cons: Douche?
4. Pros: Grass in background looks nice and green. Cons: Dead space in the middle of the photo.
"Oh, New York tap water is the greatest...Oh, it's high quality water, NY water...I drink it all the time, straight from the faucet..."
Please, shut up. Consider shutting up.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Some Reasons Why an Open Casket Funeral Is a Good Idea:
• A final, physical moment helps provide a feeling of closure with the cadaver.
• Talking to a dead person can help prepare teenagers for a future "marraige experience."
• Religious services are more affecting if there's a body to physically point to on key talking points.
• Deep sobbing is good for your bowels.
• "You stop complaining and open that casket! There are people throwing their dead into mass pits in other parts of the world!"
• If a person falls in the ground and no one's there to see it--did that person really die? Hard to say, let's play it safe.
• Alleviates detachment!
• Talking to a dead person can help prepare teenagers for a future "marraige experience."
• Religious services are more affecting if there's a body to physically point to on key talking points.
• Deep sobbing is good for your bowels.
• "You stop complaining and open that casket! There are people throwing their dead into mass pits in other parts of the world!"
• If a person falls in the ground and no one's there to see it--did that person really die? Hard to say, let's play it safe.
• Alleviates detachment!
Thursday, November 9, 2006
Isn't it funny how when you're in Woodstock, NY or Santa Cruz, CA
you find yourself saying "healthful" so much more? Like almost every other word?
And as a goodbye, as in: "Have a healthful afternoon!"
Do you do it because you think it will make people like you more or is it just that you're truly getting into the groove and vibing hard?
And as a goodbye, as in: "Have a healthful afternoon!"
Do you do it because you think it will make people like you more or is it just that you're truly getting into the groove and vibing hard?
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
DEMS!
Triumph for the DEMS! Dems the breaks! Dems done it! Glittering like precious Dems! Way to go Dems on being Dems! Dems'R'Dems! Go DEMS! You're demsigods! I'll be your private Demscer! OOOOoooo!!! DEMS! Demming it up! Let's go Dems. Demsel in distress! Demsel Washington.
Demszzz.zzz....zzz...zzz...demmsssmzzzmzzzzzzz.....
[Aaaaand lights dem....SCENE.]
Pact: Let's never say "Dems" again. No matter what. Okay?
CHELSEA PERETTI ON "DEMS" / OFFICIAL TAGLINE FOR THIS POST:
Give that abbreviation its "baba" and its "bwanky" -- because that abbreviation is officially tired!
Demszzz.zzz....zzz...zzz...demmsssmzzzmzzzzzzz.....
[Aaaaand lights dem....SCENE.]
Pact: Let's never say "Dems" again. No matter what. Okay?
CHELSEA PERETTI ON "DEMS" / OFFICIAL TAGLINE FOR THIS POST:
Give that abbreviation its "baba" and its "bwanky" -- because that abbreviation is officially tired!
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Internet find!
I located a really cool resource for election info, etc. Check it out and let people know what you think. If you like it, spread the word.
Monday, November 6, 2006
Mo Pitkins tonight
Doing stand up at Mike Birbiglia's Secret Public Journal Live CBS show at Mo Pitkins, 8pm, 34 Ave A.
Sunday, November 5, 2006
Friday, November 3, 2006
Greg Johnson Show
I will be appearing with my team of bodyguards at the Greg Johnson show tonight, 8:30pm. 332 E 11th St.
Thursday, November 2, 2006
VARIETY SHAC, Two Year Anniversary!
Hey Jackie JOYNER Kersee!!! Why don't you come JOYN the Variety Shac for our special 2-year anniversary show? The whole gang is in town: SHONALI BHOWMIK, HEATHER LAWLESS, ANDREA ROSEN, & CHELSEA PERETTI.
It's tonight. And it promises to be a swell time.
Variety Shac
Thurs, Nov. 2
8:30pm
Galapagos (back room)
70 N. 6th St.
$5
We have 50 amazing gift bags to give to the first 50 people. That's the kind of opulence that really belongs to a 50-year anniversary, but we're going to offer it on our second.
With: The Bordeaux Twins
And: Some short films. What happens when Heather is unable to report for duty at our short film shoot? That question is answered by our disgusting short film.
It's tonight. And it promises to be a swell time.
Variety Shac
Thurs, Nov. 2
8:30pm
Galapagos (back room)
70 N. 6th St.
$5
We have 50 amazing gift bags to give to the first 50 people. That's the kind of opulence that really belongs to a 50-year anniversary, but we're going to offer it on our second.
With: The Bordeaux Twins
And: Some short films. What happens when Heather is unable to report for duty at our short film shoot? That question is answered by our disgusting short film.
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